19/3/2022

I miss spring at my home. I miss the joy of spring. Experiencing the blossoming of nature in a different city feels empty. I hope my opinion changes.

I about to reach my second week cigarette free. I don't feel a need to smoke, nor do I feel like I'm missing something. My habits have changed though -- our apartment building is getting renovated and I wasn't able to go to the balcony, where I usually smoke and drink coffee. Even so, I don't see how my habits would change, since I'd still spend time on the balcony, just because it's so enjoyable to be in the sun and to look at all the plants growing.

In respect to this, I think that the main point of addiction is the possibility. If you can smoke, you will smoke; if you can waste the day on the Internet, you will. We have lost the capacity for boredom. It's a difficult cycle to break, one temptation is sufficient to continue in the same path. I can recognize the uselessness of some of my behaviours, but still cannot accept them.

Oh well.